Know thyself.

I see you mama, staying busy, always caring for others. You work to support or help support your family, and then you work to run your family in your "off" hours. You've accepted that this is just the way it is because you're surrounded by other women who are stuck in the same cycle chasing achievement after achievement. And those achievements absolutely feel good. 

But let's pause for a moment to consider what's on the other side of that next goal once you hit it. Think about your latest win -- a promotion maybe, or a raise, a big deal you closed, or the dream client you landed. Whatever it was you were chasing, you did it, and I bet it felt great. Then what happened? After the thrill of the chase faded, did another goal come in and take the place of that one you just accomplished?

So many of us keep chasing and stay stuck in that cycle of needing the next achievement. It's a merry-go-round. And in that cycle you might never actually have to meet and reckon with your true self. You might never have to ask yourself how you really feel underneath the constant chase. The work might never get uncomfortable; you might even feel grounded and rooted in what you're doing.

I was asked recently why I believe so strongly in bringing yoga and sound healing to people, especially those who aren't already familiar with these practices. I am so convicted that this work is important that I left a well-paying corporate job and handed myself a staggering pay cut.

And it's all because I met myself through yoga and I can't unsee it. That's my path. It probably won't be yours. But yoga and sound practices, when done well, will absolutely bring you home to you.

But what if that never happens? What's the consequence of never meeting yourself? I believe there are several.

1. If you believe in a higher power (the Source, God, the Universe, Our Lord and Savior Pedro Pascal, whatever you want call it) then you may also believe we are each put here for a special, shiny reason. If you don't ever truly meet yourself, you can't get in touch with that divine energy and know how it feels to walk in your true purpose. In some religious and spiritual constructs, you're even obligated to do this self-study to fulfill the purpose you were put here to live out (the sanskrit term for self-study in yoga philosophy is svadhyaya).

2. It's hard to be a curious person if you aren't starting that curiosity with yourself. Don't you want to know yourself, not just the role you're acting out? If you never really get quiet and listen, how do you know who that person is underneath all the noise? How do you even know whether the merry-go-round of career achievement is actually making you happy? Maybe it is, and if so, I share in your happiness. Keep on going, slay those dragons. But what if, in learning more about you, it becomes obvious that you are NOT happy slaying dragons? This is where things get uncomfortable.

3. You can't be truly seen by others if you don't know yourself. Remember the Runaway Bride movie from the late 90s? Julia Roberts's character runs from the altar again and again, and then falls into a new relationship with a new man who is THIS TIME her true love. At last. Except then she runs again. With every new romance, she's shown ordering her eggs the same way as her partner. Scrambled, over easy, an omelette, whatever. (It makes me gag as a writer because that has to be the cheesiest, laziest narrative device EVER, but still. Love Julia Roberts, love this stupid movie.) And then (spoiler alert) she realizes she doesn't even like eggs. THE HUMANITY! It's rom com crap, but there is a point here. If you don't ever truly meet yourself, you'll never show up authentically to be really seen. And this inauthenticity can challenge your relationships, your happiness, your whole way of being.

4. You don't know what you're capable of until you do the work of looking inward. In The Namas and the Niyamas, an important resource book for understanding foundational principles of yoga (in fact, the first two limbs of the eight-limbed path), Deborah Adele writes, "Know yourself so well that you will grow into your wholeness and greatness." Is it possible, for an overachiever type such as myself, that although I have accomplished things in my years so far, I have not truly reached the depths of my own wholeness and greatness? Because those achievements, while they may look good on paper, were not created from the depths of my real and true self? Also uncomfortable.

I'll tell you, as a recovering corporate imposter, once I realized who I really am underneath all the social programming, I couldn't fake it anymore. I couldn't fake being who I used to be, and I was exhausted all the way down in my soul from it. Before I left my career, I had timelines where I held onto my job longer, saved more, and played it safe, but there came a point where I could not carry on. 

It took me years of yoga practice to get to this understanding of myself, and the work is continual. Ongoing. Truth be told I've barely scratched the surface of the possibilities, especially of sound healing as I'm so much newer to the work. These practices are long, winding paths with lofty destinations that few ever attain. But the path is nevertheless worthy.

Yoga and sound healing will not magically fix you. You're not broken, and you might not be just playing a part for decades like I was. But if you don't look inward, practice svadhyaya, and get curious, how will you ever know? If you feel like you're on an endless merry-go-round, you might already know something you're trying to ignore.